Sometimes just let them PLAY

The time our child starts to walk is the time we start to run, behind them of course !

And then we realize that we have burnt a lot of calories and started to sweat and they haven't even had to gasp once. Kids are full of energy. They don't get tired no matter how much they work all day. When we are in a park or a Shopping mall we get no direction as to where they run to and won't get our job done in time. During this time our pram would be a lot of help.just secure the belt and some toys would keep them engaged.

But after that, don't forget to give them their time ! 

I know of a family with two boys and whose parents were so over protective, the kids weren't allowed to go anywhere and do anything without the presence of their parents. They were very rich and always had an annual family vacation somewhere off our country. But as the boys grew , they realized their lack of freedom and started doing dangerous  stunts using friends car, distribution of boxes filled with unknown stuff to raise their pocket money within their school premises  etc, without their parents knowledge. These boys happened to be my brother's friends and their dad was a good friend of my dad. One day, the eldest among the two showed my brother a train ticket to another state in India as he was planing to flee . He came to know the boxes he had supplied contained drugs and when he informed the dealers he couldn't help them anymore, they started blackmailing him. Inspite of my brothers counsel he decided to leave that midnight. That night my brother told me the entire story and I immediately informed my parents. Our parents discussed the matter immediately through phone and later directly and the boy was saved.

Even days after the incident the boy was followed by many men , but since his dad always left him and picked him from school , he saw everything. Within that week they changed him from that school and the boy was given all the freedom and money he deserved. Today he is a responsible young man.(he's a year younger than me and this is a story that happened 11 years ago)

Moral: when we don't give our child love from our part, they tend to find love from others

Here to love our children means to, encourage them to do the things they love doing, give them adequate freedom with proper monitoring, to love them so much that-they wouldn't find anyone else loving them more than you. teach them religious principles , and the most important part- teach them to love you back.This is not a one-day process .

From the time our child starts to walk, let them explore! Run a little behind them and monitor them to follow your orders and teach them which direction they are allowed to walk and where to take a detour . After teaching them two-three times, they would start walking only in the path you taught them to and would stay away from the rest.

When they explore- teach them - to whom they can talk to and to whom they can't, from whom they can take an offered gift or chocolate  from and , from whom they can't. To make them do that you should be offering them more of their favorite gifts and eatables so that they wouldn't want it when someone else offers.

No matter where they go without you or if you leave your child with someone else for sometime, even if it's school, take time and listen to their story. I have already  started  doing that to my daughter Asiya who is just two years old. And since she has started to speak in sentences in her own baby language that we understand, she tells us everything.

They will always keep this knowledge they learn even after becoming adults.

They seek your advice when they're in trouble or when they need any help.

Before they are allowed go oustside alone, teach them how to face the world.

When they are toddlers let them walk and explore, take them out to a park or mall and let them play with whatever they want to play. Don't let your fear rule over and make you loose your trust over your child-let them play in pools of ball, go on a merry go round,  let them play on swings , slides and see-saws. Just don't take your eyes off them and always be ready to catch them when they fall. Be their courage, make them realize that they can do it.

When they start schooling , let them make friends but always teach them in all stages of life -you are theirs best friend. Let them go on school trips, let them do combine studies, let them develop their hobbies but don't let them to slip way too much from academics. During all the phases of schooling from kindergarten , check with whom our kids are friends with. You must have thorough knowledge of each of them.And detach them to tell the truth.

During this period , scolding them when necessary is okay.

No matter where they go teach them to inform you always- may it be for a movie or outing with a friend. But that doesn't mean spying, talk to your child from the time they start to speak and trust what they say.

When they are teenagers/adolescent , also called as the period of confusion. They need your most help. During this phase, they are already dealing with their changing hormonal activity. They are already having a battle with their body and mind. This time if we yell at them, they will never meet your eyes again . If you don't let them go like a kite with the strings in your hands, they'll never stay. Give  them their freedom but don't let forget to respect you and your family values. They would have developed their friend circle now, if they were in your guidance from childhood they would have made great friends. But still never forget to talk to them about their day atleast once a week , here talking means listening to them more and trust me , they wouldn't want too much advice.

Teach them their prayers and religion more. Tell them a little of your family stories of struggle and love. And don't forget to give them pocket money , but not too much.

When they are in college especially in hostel , the atmosphere would be totally different. But don't let them be alone. Call them at least once a week. When they come home cook them their favorite meal and shop with them. Give them surprise visits to college and hostel, meet with friends . Never forget to give them all the money the need not the money THEY want. Monitor how they spent (not by teaching them to tally) Ask for habits but trust what they say. Again talk to them when they are home.

Your children would be half- you and your partner and half- the society. When they are  very young gain their trust towards you and your partner and when they grow older and face the society , they must be ready for what comes. 

Children are exposed to outside little by little so ,each time teach them how to deal with each phase and when they become away from you they will remember all your teachings.

Give them time when they are young and they'll never forget it when they get old.

This is why maternity leaves are inevitable during early stages of you child's life and when they grow older , no matter what job you do , give them their time.

Be a friend to them , play and talk with them.

Love them and teach them to love you back.