HOW TO DEAL WITH A TODDLER

Being a mom of a toddler can cost you a lot of patience, energy and time.

This is the stage when a child finally stands on his own feet and explores the world. During this phase , a child is learning to do things by himself and learning to understand what he's been asked to do.

He asks for the things he wants, he hesitates to wear a diaper, he informs it's time for him to pee, he wants to do things by himself ,like taking a bath, eating his meal, cleaning himself after taking the washroom. Sometimes it's all fun for us parents to watch when they attempt to do new things but ,sometimes when we are in a hurry we'll get mad over their demands.

Initially ,It was hard for me to deal with my elder daughter when she had her transition to a toddler especially because I had an infant too to look after.

But thanks to my husband and my family I finally know the secret recipe to have a peaceful home with a toddler.

• The first thing to know while having a toddler at home is that they are very small innocent children who are just understanding the world around them. They are unaware wheather we parents are available for them or not, but they are totally aware that THIS IS THEIR TIME. Its not their fault that they sound fussy or stubborn to us , it's our fault that we are giving more importance to something else other than our child.

After I realized this, I try never to forget this, finally I have found peace in my heart without hurting the emotions of my daughter who needs me every second of her life.

• Second: we need to realize that we have so many people whom we trust and who care about us, if one person leaves us we have another to lend their shoulder for us to cry on. But ,our little toddlers just have US, we are the world to them, we are the only people they know deeply and are attached to the most. Imagine the time you yell at them , they feel so helpless and left out, whom would they run to?THEY ONLY HAVE YOU!

Each time we criticize them for something they did , they loose in developing their confidence . It can be noticed that during this stressed period a toddler pee without informing you, disobeys you a lot, does the opposite of everything you want them to do. Finally the harmony in your home would be lost and neither you nor your child would be relaxed.

1. Address them with LOVE. There are two ways to teach our child to obey us.

One way is to give our child everything THEY demand in OUR WAY.

Second is make them do everything WE want in THEIR WAY.

Confused?

Let me explain with examples I implemented in my daughter?

My daughter Asiya hates to take a bath from the time she was a new born and that continues even now. Giving her a bath means dragging her to the bathroom, holding her in it until she's finished and then finally drying her when she's not even willing to stand or sit. After giving her a bath I feel exhausted. But now it's fun and it takes lesser time and energy. When I want to give her a bath ,I ask her to choose a toy she wants to give a bath to, sometimes she takes her bath toys, sometimes some other toys that shouldn't get wet. But any way, by the time i complete her bath she would be given the shower with which she gives her toy a bath. When it's time to wipe her I give her a hanky with which she dries her toy. By the time she begins to make a fuss, I would remind her, her toy would get sick if she wouldn't wipe it properly.throughout the procedure, she would be buzy taking care of her toy and wouldn't even know I have completed my task ....The result- its fun and both of us are happy.

Now when I call her for bath, she asks me " Umma , who wants to take a bath with achi  today " and ,searches her toy box. The best part, the toys are dust free too...this is an example for doing the things I wish to do in her way.

Now there's something she wants to do and I hate allowing her to do.EATING BY HERSELF. This would mean I have to carry a broom and mop all day. So I changed the strategy. I give her fruits and veggies with a fork, I cook solid foods and shape them to balls, I mix important ingredients she hates with something she loves and give her hidden food, I give her puréed and mashed veggies with pasta,  finally with a fork or by her hand she eats what I want her to eat. 

There are many other chores we do like this.

This is all bout playing with the likes and dislikes of you and your child. But I guarantee you, I have finally found harmony in my home with my toddler by doing so....and she likes me more and more by each passing day, she obeys me, and shares her daily stories with me like she does with my mom.

Finally I have gained her trust and I'm happy about the way I handle her.